It is quite baffling the things people feel they have a right to say. Free speech and right to an opinion are nifty and dandy. However, it has become a cheap commodity. But do people have to be so classless while exercising their rights?
Apparently so, at least on Social Media especially on Facebook and Twitter. There are some people who litter negativity around and wonder why they have got a trashy life.
My mantra had always been this:
I will never wash my dirty linen in public.
If you are a blogger and have known me since I started out to blog in 2007, you would have known by now that I speak without fear, bias, or inhibitions. I strongly speak out my mind on issues. As a matter of fact, a nemesis I am by those who can’t handle how I wielded my tongue.
However, I had slowly learned to filter out what I write on my blogs as things had considerably altered my perception on wearing my heart on my sleeves and giving too much information (TMI) to readers when I became the subject of insults and bashings in 2010. Two years later, the culprit sought my forgiveness and whether it was sincere or not, it did not really matter. I knew myself more than anyone else.
When they dissected me like a laboratory specimen hurling false accusations and derogatory remarks against my person, they were hurting and degrading themselves even more rather than myself.
This ugly incident taught me a hard lesson. It occurred to me that you can never please everyone; by blogging honestly from the heart, you can either get genuine friends or mortal nemesis.
It is no different when blogging was on a wane with the rise of fame and glory of Facebook. This platform had made it so much easier and convenient for bloggers like me to get in touch with family and friends by posting short statuses instantly without having to log in to my blogs’ dashboards and blogging about things lengthily and comprehensively.
Presumably, my real friends and family would be interested to get updated with things about me. However, it is for a fact that NOT ALL in my friends’ list do care and bother about what I do- my little triumphs and painful struggles; how happy and excited I get on trivial, minute things; how my heart melts at the little sweet things that my husband does for me, and etc.
With the happy and positive things I get to share on my Facebook timeline or across my blogs, you might get the impression that I live a “perfect” life. Truth be told, just like anyone else’s, I also live a very flawed and imperfect life.
I lose my temper the same way my husband does, we experience trials and tribulations just like any other couple, we have our petty and not-so-petty arguments and fights, and we encounter almost everything that any other married couples face.
But you do not really need to know about all of these rubbish because I want to only imbibe positivity, love, and happiness.
Like you and everyone else, I have my own garbage but I chose to dwell on the good things rather than the bad. At the end of the day, I am still blessed in more ways than I ever deserved. I can only recount my blessings and never my failures, frustrations, and disappointments.
I do not want my angst and complaints about anything bad or gloomy in my life to be another piece of gossip to blabber about. My issues and dramas are my own to resolve; I’d rather spare you with the ugly details.
That is the primary reason why you will never get me to publish anything ugly on my Facebook or my blogs. I chose to be positive and happy despite all the negativities and toxicities that are happening around me.
My imperfections and flaws need not be dissected and judged by you. It is up between me and my Maker.
Of course, not everyone is going to agree with me- that is so fine. While we all value free speech and that we are all entitled to our own opinions, I believe with strong conviction that there is a time and place for everything. Once it’s out there in the world wide web, there is no taking it back. We may feel mighty and untouchable with the freedom to express behind our computers but more often than not, some things are better left unsaid.
Now tell me, does that make me a hypocrite and a fake?
Three years ago, I wrote an attempt to chronicle my life just a few days before my 25th birthday – A Countdown to My “25th.” This time, while I was struggling to come up with a decent article, I was debating on whether or not it is appropriate to write down one as I felt I am again wearing my heart in my sleeves. However, I could not anymore be bothered.
I am not gonna lie.
It seems crazy how things had drastically changed for me in such short a time. In a sudden twist of fate, my perspectives towards life had altered accordingly.
As can be recalled, I was then a dreamy girl who knew nothing of a love greater than the love that a family can give.
Most women have this earth-shattering desire for independence in all aspects of their lives. I can only speak for myself as I walked that path when I moved out of my Mom’s home and tried to live on my own. I felt too grown up. Growing up is happening much too quickly. I asked: “Where did the time go?” I was more intrigued to have the world around my fingers and I couldn’t wait! Read: Because the Baby is Now a Lady
In the process, I broke my mother’s heart with the move. She had a hard time accepting the fact that after being sheltered for almost my entire life, I am all suddenly too grown up wanting to live on my own; in my own terms. Read: BREAKING NEWS: My Mom Finally Visited Me!
I painted a glorious picture of how incredibly cool it would be like to live independently. Admittedly, there were good and bad sides to it. Read:All By Myself and I am Loving It!
Our family gatherings became more frequent; it was a weekly affair. And how we so looked forward to it! I guess the cliche, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true.
In many instances, my family would always bring me food at my apartment so I no longer had to cook.
On another side of the token, not one family member could instantly come to my rescue whenever I felt sick. It was hard to fend for myself.
I could not help but think of the future and I dearly remembered my Aunt (May God bless her soul) who had lost her battle to cancer in 2012.
My Tita after a surgery at my brother’s wedding
She shared to me that it was not easy sans a family of her own- no husband, no children. She had countless lonely days and nights. She died a spinster. She encouraged me to get married and bear children of my own. In her death bed, the wise sage that is my Aunt told me:
“Please do not forget helping out your younger brothers even when you are already married.”
I could only weep; I had grieved for the loss of a woman who was more than a sister to my own Mom and who was always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in the clan.
At the burial of my Tita
I saw how my mother was shattered into pieces twice as much as I did.
My Mom while weeping at the funeral
As I write this, I am now a happy wife and an excited mother-to-be. Someone made me his world; he did not mind the scary responsibility of building a family with me and he willingly consented to my being mother to his future children. I still strive to be a better woman playing various roles and that includes being a “wife” and a future “mother.” I am still a work in progress everyday. Read:We Prayed, He Answered: We Are Pregnant!
That “someone” is now my loving husband
As I am feeling the flutters and tingling sensation in my belly for our baby’s tiny movements, I can now vividly imagine being responsible for the future and well-being of a beautiful, innocent, all-love, trusting little child that is my own. I look forward for the future with so much hope and optimism that everything will be in place according to God’s plans.
I distinctly recalled that before getting hitched, I have lived a full and carefree life. I have traveled to different places, enjoyed the company of my lovely friends and beautiful family, and I got the chance to enhance my personal and professional skills.
How can I forget becoming an Aunt for the first time to my little darling Morning Dew?!
My little Darling Morning Dew
I grieved for the loss of my friends and relatives and rejoiced in their triumphs and achievements, too.
I have often cried in silence regarding anything minute and trivial- from lost money, phones, frustrations, disappointments, and “losing” a bestfriend.
There are still heaps of sob stories to tell that’s enough to make life horribly bleak but I shall spare you with the details.
God’s promises to His faithful children are real. Despite life’s storms and struggles, I felt victorious because I completely understand that God is working all things out for the good and His purpose for my life. He had always been aware of the painful trials that I had to go through. He walked side by side with me. When my heart is ready, I shall be writing more about it. He has a divine eternal reason for each and everything that I had to endure. He has a timing for it all and it is all part of the perfect plan.
With all humility and gratefulness, all the honor, glory, and praises is to God. He has blessed my life more than I ever deserved. There are moments when I feel I do not deserve one tiny bit of the wonderful things that I had been given- a new lease to life as I celebrate another birthday; a loving family in the Philippines and in Sydney; an awesome and wonderful husband; a baby on the way; wonderful friends, and so much more! I could only count each and every blessing that God is bestowing upon me and He is incessantly doing so.
Life is a gift and tomorrow is never promised. I vow to make the most out of this gift- 25 years old forever I will be! I am so ready to take on the new role that I am about to play in a few months time. There will be hills and hurdles along the way but God’s love and mercy will always pull me through.
It is remarkable, in this Age and Time, that Gurus still exist.
Just when we begin to believe that finally it’s the Age of Reasoning with the assistance of Books, the Internet and Equipment that are at our learned disposal, here comes The Epitome of a Guru going bonkers.
Guru Bingkee amazingly expounds…
Ahhh, Guru Bingkee is spot on.
“PROCEEDS TO INSULT AND JUDGE YOU”
Just like, Bingkee does it so immaculately in the name of peace, when she finds it hypocritcally AOK to do some name-calling…
You see, people who do not step in line with her philosophies are “freakish and extremely hideous”
She feels there are circumstances and people that surround her menacingly and they are FREAKS and EXTREMELY HIDEOUS.
In true form, Guru Bingkee humbly asks her devotees…
And my answer to lulu lala Bingkee is simply this:
Blessed are the pissmakers for they shall inherit nothing.