I remember my immature self who would easily succumb to emotions. I tend to lash out easily; I would almost immediately express my anger in haste especially when I am intentionally provoked or when a person has been a complete a**hole or a bit*ch. The swift response would be to seek revenge and wish for retribution to the other party.
However, as time passed me by, I can say that I have learned to pick my battles wisely. Taking the high road by walking away is not at all times cowardice.
I could cite a few examples if only to clearly emphasize my point.
After giving birth to my son, I was under observation in the hospital. Because of some issues, which I would later relate in my birth story, I was given a private room and my husband was allowed to stay the night. However, there was one midwife in Blacktown Hospital who did not exercise prudence and tact; and they wonder why a lot of women hurdle postnatal depression.
In her line of profession, she was expected to deliver care, support, and comfort. Boy, was I wrong! I was raising my expectations too high.
Recalling what transpired that night, she sent my husband home. She harshly said that if the hospital would catch fire, he will add up to the number of people who will need rescuing. To make things clear, my husband was given clearance and approval by hospital administrators and doctors to be with me to assist in speeding up my recovery emotionally. He was meant to stay the night the entire duration of my confinement in the hospital.
To make the long story brief, I tearfully confronted her and emphasized that my husband was allowed to be with me for a solid reason and because of what she did, she was not helping me at all. She confessed that she failed to read the notes in my medical chart. She never apologised.
The next day, the hospital Manager came in to see me and I discussed with her what took place the previous night. She encouraged me to lodge a complaint. Apparently, the midwife was technically on the wrong. By impulse, I would like to raise hell and I wanted to gratify myself by proving that she did me wrong.
However, I never got the chance to write an extensive complaint on the issue. For one thing, I was thinking ahead that she might lose her job had I pursued the matter. What if she has children? What’s going to happen to them? I am now a mother and I could certainly walk in her shoes. For another, my resolve changed each time I look at my son and nurse him. I do not need all these kind of crap because I never want to agitate my son. I always tried my best to be calm and collected around him. Pursuing the matter would have brought out the worst in me. I chose not to for my son’s sake. It was not easy to walk away without a fight but I chose to totally drop the issue.
If only to add more value on this post, some may feel unhappy with other people’s happiness. My husband and I’s happiness to be precise. To be eaten up by so much insecurity and bitterness is pathetic. To spread ugly lies and gossips about me and screwing me over behind my back is sheer evil. There could be valid reasons that prompted a person to act in such silly, inappropriate, and bitchy ways but there is never an excuse for such despicable acts. It is beyond me how I found the heart to initiate the move to break the ice after all the misleading and false accusations that were hurled at me. My dignity was better served by turning the other cheek.
I could have shared a whole lot more in grotesque detail but I will spare you with the ugliness of it all.
Ultimately, I realized that taking the high road is worth my personal happiness and peace of mind:
1. Revenge is clearly a waste of time and energy. To be consumed by getting even to someone who wronged me is not worth it. I can’t be obsessed by getting back at a person because life is too beautiful to be wasted on crap.
2. I won’t humiliate myself by stooping down to the level of others. I want to preserve my sense of pride and dignity by not allowing my life to be wrapped up in complete misery, anger, hatred, and grudges.
3. I have far more better and important things to worry about. I can’t focus on the trivial issues. I have an awesome husband and an adorable son- that’s all that matters to me.
4. In the long run, choosing not to lose my cool made the other party look awful. Being the ugly villain in this saga doesn’t sound nice, right? 😉
5. Haters will always gonna hate. I can’t do anything about that. But I was given the opportunity to look down on them the minute I chose to take the high road. From my tower of maturity, I saw what kind of people they truly are.
I must admit that walking away with grace is not an easy path to take. I am not that innocent with all the wicked thoughts that’s going on in my head. I am still a work in progress everyday.
I have to give due credit to my husband who helped me pacify my emotions by always reminding me:
“If you retaliate, then you will be just like them.”
He has not failed in reminding me to always try to ignore the taunts and provocations and not to sink to their level.
Now as I look back, I am glad I opted to take the high road.