Winter Blues and Woes

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

It has been a rather miserable week weather-wise. The icy cold temps and the bone chilling winds kept me curled up in bed till past 9am. It’s extremely depressing!

Thanks to my mother who’s been taking over looking after my little babe at around 6 in the morning. I had the luxury of rolling in bed for a couple more hours.

Because of the freaking brutal chills, we had no choice but to bundle up. We had to bundle up some more because the heating in the house did not work for a couple of weeks. With an almost newborn baby around, it was simply unacceptable! I feel so sorry for my mother too who’s not used to this kind of weather.

It took a couple of weeks of hounding the Real Estate agent who did the job of negotiating to the Landlord until it was finally given a go for replacement. I had to look up the high heavens and thank the Father Almighty when it has been finally replaced and installed.

We are already half way through winter and I must say that we have braved this nasty weather valiantly. It is still a blessing that we don’t get snow around here. However, we have been forewarned by the Weatherman that a massive cold snap is expected this weekend. This Aussie Freeze will make us feel we are in the Antarctic sending icy blasts all over Australia. Even the Sunshine State Queensland is expected to experience dusty snow.

Meanwhile,we were watching the famed The State of Origin between Queensland Maroons and New South Wales Blues while I am trying to update this blog at the same time.

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Of course we were rooting for the Blues but the Maroons are most likely to win this decider game if they continue to play like how they are playing at the moment until the last tick- the count is 34-2 with still 25 minutes left in the game. My husband thinks there is no way the Blues are gonna come back from it. It proved to be a boring and a disappointing game for the Blues fans.

With the heating mightily running in the comfort of our home, my husband and I devoured a big bowl of ice cream in the middle of winter! 😉

ice cream

I was hoping it will help appease his displeasure over the Blues’ embarrassing performance.

A Time and Place for Everything

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

I was having second thoughts on going public about my Pregnancy Journey and Birthing Story. I was in contemplation for quite some time. As a matter of fact, my firstborn is now nearly four months old!

I feel like it’s far too much information. While I sit and think hard about it, I rationalized to completely move forward.

I now bear a rather different stance when publicly sharing my affairs. While the internet is not the safest place to be, I still can go personal but I’d exercise prudence and tact. I’d be more cautious, too.

Besides, my blogs are now dead and nobody couldn’t even care less! LOL!

I am not going back on my word. I shall remain to be transparent. As I have once said and if I may just quote:

I realized that the more open and transparent I remained, the more I find true friends who truly supported me in my ordeal and who reassured me that I have their backs no matter what. I am now at a place where I chose to share some of my life’s struggles, downfalls, pains, joys, and blessings without feeling shame and fear of judgments because I have learned that our lives should be a living testimony and it is always for God’s greater glory.

By saying that, I shall resume documenting bits and pieces of my journey at my first blog, A Sojourner’s Saga.

Fret not.

I won’t inundate my blogs with everything personal. I should know when to make a pause or to completely call a halt to what is being said.

Indeed, there is a time and place for everything and it will remain that way.

I Did It! A Small Yet Large Triumph of a Filipina in Australia

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

I have been feeling slumped and sluggish for the past couple of weeks. Life had been rather hectic especially at work thus blogging had to take a backseat for a while as I have previously published H E R E. I feel so mentally exhausted and flat out because I get stuffed with so much more than I can handle. It’s frustrating and I feel inadequate when I can’t deliver. I hate to disappoint; I want things done in perfect order.

It has always been a daily challenge learning new things with an entirely different system and organizational culture. For one, I have not yet fully assimilated myself in the Australian mainstream. I am still such a baby in the working class. For another, my real main issue is the language comprehension. Yes! Believe it or not, I am struggling comprehending the Aussie accent.

You see, I handle calls everyday; I am also the first point of contact in the office and I get a lot of people who speak the English vernacular with various accents- Australia being a multicultural hub. To me, some accents were either spoken inaudibly or incomprehensively. Although I am married to a true blue Aussie, he does speak real slow and very clear. I never had any problems.

I feel an ultimate dumb when I had to ask the person a second time. They must be thinking I am either deaf or just plain stupid. Hahaha! It’s quite embarrassing!

Filipinos were once hailed to be the best in Business English. I must agree on that. I have no trouble in speaking my mind using the English vernacular. As a matter of fact, some nationalities here could easily identify Filipinos on the way we speak. They’d always say it’s English with an “American accent.” Hmm. I am not too sure what they meant. I had to ask my Prince and he said they can just tell. I presumed it’s kind of a different American accent because it’s spoken by a brown-skinned Asian. LOL! Anyhow, I am lucky that I know how to speak the language before I even set foot in this country and I do not need to go to an English school or see the need of hiring an interpreter to be able to express and be understood.

So yes, I have no issues in speaking my mind but what about comprehending what’s being said? I think I need to get used to people’s various accents. I need to put extra effort in trying to understand how they say things in English.

For instance, an Indian say “oriented” and he phonetically and thickly says it as “odointod.” This is what’s normally heard when I went to school for my Medical Transcription classes so many years back.

What about when an Aussie say: “Can I speak with Mel please” and I quickly retort back: “I am sorry, we only got Mal here!”

See! Do you understand where I am coming from? It’s crazy how accents can vary!

If it is any consolation at all, other tasks were less complicated- Accounting systems that I was able to learn in no time; computer programs that were very easy to master. My job has a massive scope – administrative support, accounts, talent management, reception, and everything else in between. One must be adept at prioritization to be able to keep up. I have always been keen and enthusiastic in learning new things and apparently, this worked to my advantage. I can now do things speedily even with such short notice. I am used to working under pressure; it’s never new to me but to beat an hour deadline was quite a feat! Hallelujah!

I was somehow surprised when I was bombarded with emails appreciating the effort I did to beat the deadline. And not only that, the Manager himself came up to me and thanked me personally for doing great. I never experienced being recognized in this fashion in my entire working career!

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To be recognized at work is motivating and fulfilling. At least, my effort to do my absolute best didn’t go for naught. Like I said, The Greater the Sacrifice, the Sweeter the Prize and that precisely holds true!

I am aware I still have a lot of things to learn. My mistakes kept me frustrated but it made me a better person. I am not afraid to commit mistakes. However, the frustration drags me down and when that happens, my Prince that is my husband comes to the rescue:

“Take it easy, Princess. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t worry about it; it’s just a job. Your real life is at home.”

Awwww! Such comforting words! For having such a supportive and loving husband, I consider this the largest triumph in itself. I always thank God for the treasure of having a husband like mine. Indeed, I am wonderfully blessed!

Before the Little Sweetheart Pops

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

I could still vividly recall my husband’s dilemma on his razor bumps. As a matter of fact, it has been quite disturbing especially so when he had it towards our wedding and on our wedding day itself. He has not come across of myrsol aftershave yet. But I am gonna share it to him soon. The razor bumps had subsided a bit but it is still there and kept annoying him to no end. I hope he will find the best remedy to this issue real soon before the little sweetheart pops.

To Blog My Absolute Best Despite It All

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

First off, I wish to thank all my lovely blogpals who wished me well while I was away. There were quite a few beautiful souls who privately messaged me and wished me speedy recovery. I truly appreciate your concern.

I am not supposed to be blogging for an indefinite period of time. In fact, I have turned over my blogs to my cousin Ally who, thankfully, took the mighty responsibility of updating my three (3) other blogs. I feel grateful that she didn’t say “NO” outright.

However, I was downhearted when she couldn’t take the reigns here at Lainy’s Musings (LM) and over at The Fool on the Hill (TFotH). At first, she expressed that she feels intimidated writing articles for Lainy’s Musings.

Ally expressing her thoughts in taking over Lainy's Musings
What standard? Duh!

I still can vividly recall when I once invited her some years back to author this blog but she declined for the same reason. In desperation, I sought the assistance of my Cameroonian bloggie pal, Uncle Che, who proudly accepted my invite. That was before when Uncle Che was still single and we both can blog till we drop.

When Ally knew that LM and TFotH will remain dormant till she accepts the responsibility of taking over the blogs, she got desperate in suggesting Windy to co-author the blogs once more.

Ally suggesting that I ask Windy to take over at LM

I will be the happiest soul if ever Windy will again co-author my blogs. Sadly, he has long given up blogging for reasons only known to me apart from health being the issue. I miss those times when we used to cheer and egg each other on at the blogs. The hilarious moments shared with him being once the co-author of Lainy’s Musings was something I’ve truly missed. I still am hoping though that it won’t remain a thing of the past.

In need of inspiration, sometimes I think about looking into a free article writing services.

Meanwhile, I understand why Ally declined to add more blogs for her to work on. You see, she already got two personal blogs under her belt, and adding 5 more of my blogs would be like taking suicide.

So I have no other recourse but to continue writing here at Lainy’s Musings and over at The Fool on the Hill. Many times, I have been in quandary and have contemplated on whether To Blog or Not To Blog.

During my nth hiatus, everytime I take a quick peek here and see this blog die a natural death, I feel like dying inside, too. It’s heartbreaking to let go of something you have once loved doing. It’s not for monetary reasons. Be it known that most of my craps were not paid. It’s the sentimentalist person in me that just can’t afford to lose a baby. And to think Lainy’s Musings is about to celebrate its 4th blogoversary in three (3) months time! 😥

Gone were the blogging heydays when I worked hard for my blog’s traffic to the point of compromising my health. I don’t think I will ever regain back the 38K traffic Lainy’s Musings’ once had. But again, that’s not the issue. It’s primarily for the joy of being able to express for passion and simply exercise what I love doing the most.

As I write this, I can feel the tears welling up my eyes. I know things will never be the same again. I don’t want to make any promises but I shall try my absolute best to fuel up some life in this blog the best way I know how.

My Share For:
Happiness Is… |

Thank you Pictures, Images and Photos

R O V I E
First commenter for this post…

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A Brand New Year, A Brand New Start

Last year was both the best and the worse year for me as a blogger. I can’t keep up with the blogging mad rush given the demands at work having had to hurdle two elections in the country. Apart from that, I had to consider my health and had to forcibly make it my top priority.

At times, I feel I screwed up stuff and I don’t have my priorities straight so I lack the time to read blogs much less write updates across my blogs. I failed to actively interact with my favorite blogpals. I felt like no one really wanted to hear what I wanted to say. I simply lost the inspiration to write.

Despite so many setbacks on the year that was, I still am here though the blogging passion, intensity and zest has somehow dwindled. The only thing that motivates me to write is the monetary perks that my blogs has to offer.

I had to reassess my goals and priorities. It has been three years since I embarked in this endeavor. I had never been this lame as a blogger. Sometimes, I think of myself as a desktop computer who’s infested with lots of viruses and had to be reformatted to start anew.

I wish it’s that easy in real life.

I ought to be more inspired with what the New Year has to offer. I ought to be more positive and simply start anew.

I am not perfect. There are people whom I had unintentionally hurt in the past. There were people too who were able to cause me so much pain and suffering. Healing may not come that easy but no matter how deep the wound is, only time is the best healer.

I don’t bear evil and grudges in my heart. The New Year is the perfect time to bury the hatchet and to simply just let bygones be bygones.

I pray that God will bestow in each one of us an all-forgiving heart so as we live each day of 2011 with happy hearts and peace of mind.

Thanks for Being My Star

The darkest moment of my life isn’t over yet. Going through depression and trying to overcome it is something that one wouldn’t want to hurdle.

Today was another gloomy day. I was preparing for work when I suddenly burst into tears. I felt crazy! I cried and cried till I could cry no more. I have been like this for days. I was very desperate to talk to someone.

I thank my subordinate Star for being there. She was very patient listening to my sobs without even having a clear comprehension of what I was mumbling in between.

Her words of encouragement and support comforted me somehow. She did everything she could to stop me from weeping but I wept until my energy was all sapped very early in the morning.

This was the first time I broke the barrier between us. I have always seen her as my “Ate” alright but I am not the type of person who would frequently share my innermost thoughts and feelings to someone. I am used to keeping it inside of me or just writing them all down in private. That was before when the blogs wasn’t invented yet, LOL!

Star is a woman who has been through a lot in life. I admire her hugely for amidst all life’s difficulties and struggles, she was able to surpass it all. Her positive thoughts and words of wisdom are truly uplifting.

Thanks for being my STAR today when I felt like nobody is there to trust and lean on.

M A R I U C A

Grateful on a Monday

I have accomplished quite a lot over the weekend. It has been awhile since I did stuffs at home that’s why to me, it’s such a huge accomplishment. I want to keep myself busy to do away from those lonely and depressing thoughts.

Today is another day, the first day of the working week. It is another battle in this wicked and treacherous world. Though I did not get a full 8-hour sleep the night before, I was able to wake up at 4:45 am when the alarm sounded. My mother and I tidied up ourselves quick for the week-long devotional prayer at Church in preparation for the Year-End Thanksgiving.

I was able to write and submit all the opportunities waiting for me in the dashboard upon my return. The oops certainly always put a smile on my face. The Sheriff has been so generous the past couple of months. The online gigs are indeed a blessing and I have never forgotten to count them each time.

Writing has been a constant struggle since my return after such a long time of blogging hiatus. I seem to be groping but nevertheless I am slowly getting back into the groove of things. Experiencing life’s lowest lows seem to work up the head endlessly. I can never afford to be idle or else I’d go crazy.

I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to some wonderful friends who made me feel I was never alone. The comments left in the previous article All Will Be Over Soon somehow lifted my spirits up. I truly appreciate you all. They are the following:

Juliana
Monica
Windy

Recel

Ally

Jackie

I am still in the same struggle and I just know that I will be for a while longer. It certainly takes time to heal. To endure some sort of betrayal from people whom you believe loves you truly is like death in slow motion. Things are especially difficult to handle when you try to fight off yourself. Like they say, our greatest enemy is our own selves.

Despite these setbacks in my life, I am still bound to be grateful. I may be in the darkest pit but I just gotta have some faith and believe once more that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel and that there’s a rainbow after the rain.

L Y N N

All Will Be Over Soon

When one is terribly hurt and in pain, nothing seems to matter but the emotion that feels like a dagger to the heart. It’s a feeling that is engulfing and all too consuming. It feels as though you just want to shut yourself from the rest of the world. Sounds depressing, ain’t right?

Once in our life there will come a point where we will feel we are alone, unloved, and rejected. We feel it’s unfair to be feeling this way when all we did was give and love. We feel jilted and betrayed. For a moment, the world looks so gloomy and we just want the earth to open up and swallow us whole.

The trap that most people fall into is they tend to blame others for whatever has gone wrong and making demands upon them for a change. They tend to believe that their own happiness is dependent on others and if that person decides to change, they will feel okay and will stop feeling unhappy. But the truth is, the more we depend on another for any kind of validation, the greater are the chances of feeling let down. Self-empowerment is not attained and the person continually clings on to depression.

For some reason and in certain situations, we all go through different phases of being hurt. One thing important to realize is that it’s normal and OK to feel hurt. We FEEL it, we LIVE it. I am in that same phase at the moment. I feel like nobody understands. Nobody cares. I feel so alone in the world. I recognize and acknowledge the feeling. Though I am still groping in the dark on how to overcome it all, I am positive that one day, all will be over soon. Sometimes I try to mask a happier face, but the real me grieves inside. I let myself grieve the hurt. It feels good for a while.

To guide me from feeling blue and depressed, I tried to Google some tips on how to overcome feeling hurt and unhappy. This is not an overnight process but these things can be of huge help:

  1. Keep walking with Him.
  2. Acknowledge the hurt and despite it all, tell yourself that there is a future.
  3. As much as it hurts and as insincere as it may seem, forgive the person who has hurt you. Shout it out: “I FORGIVE XXXX FOR HURTING ME!” You may not feel very forgiving but it’s okay. It may take a while and God will understand.
  4. Remain positive and welcome some distractions like hanging out with friends. Even if they may sound insincere and hypocrite in saying “I understand your pain”, give them the benefit of the doubt
  5. Learn to be brave.
  6. Above all, forgive yourself. For whatever misgivings you have on yourself, stop the hurt by pleasing yourself this time and not seek for the approval of others.

SOURCES:
AnswerBag
Ezine

JULIANA

I Am Here

Blogging used to be so simple in the past. It has been the daily blogging chores that I have always loved doing- writing, reading, commenting and dropping EntreCards like crazy, LOL! Now I can say it is a little different. I feel like a newbie groping for the exact words to write to fully express myself. I feel like time is not always on my side to be infront of the computer. Blogging has become less of a priority because of more pressing issues that need my attention like work and some other personal issues.

Indeed, there is more to life than blogging. However, because of the perks that blogging has to offer, I am here.