Whenever we have a slight argument and worse, if he knew I was on the verge of breaking up with him, he would always attempt to take his own life, right before my very eyes! I was on the brink of losing my sanity as this ordeal kept haunting me even in my dreams. I can not live with my conscience if something of that kind ever happened to him, all because of me. My golly! I am not worth dying for! And I am not even beautiful for him to waste his life over me. Clearly, he resorted to emotional blackmail because he wanted to get his own way. It’s something that I do not want to happen ever again in my life. You can feel no peace of mind. Harmonious relationship is not taking place,
I have always tried to reflect, have I been a good girlfriend to him? The answer would always be in the affirmative except for one. I couldn’t love him back the same intensity that he loved me. Condemn me if you must. But I’ve tried everything to make our relationship work but insecurities and lack of trust have eaten him up. I know I shouldn’t have talked about him because he’s no longer in my life but he WAS part of the life I tread. He loved me the best way he knew how. He did everything to win my love and that of my family. But I can not imagine myself going through the same ordeal over and over again.
I am no relationship expert but over the years, I’ve learned that LOVE is not the only reason why a relationship stands. Love alone won’t hold a relationship or marriage together. Love can weaken, or worse, destroy a strong relationship. The ultimate key that will keep the relationship going is TRUST (I know what you’re thinking, naughty!). Showing understanding and forgiving the person you so love will pave the way to a long-lasting relationship.
I am not condemning my ex-boyfriend. He is not a bad person or crazy or weak. It just so happened that he doesn’t have enough coping mechanisms to battle what’s bothering inside him and he used all these at my expense.
Let bygones be bygones.
I’m glad I have surpassed all that, both emotional and psychological turmoils. As to how, it’s God’s intervention and His continuing love and guidance. I couldn’t have done it in my lonesome.
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General Santos Time
Love is tricky! I agree, trust is just as important and always have faith in what you feel about the next person. Hugs sweetie, hope u’re in a better place now.
.-= Mariuca´s last blog ..Friday Fill-Ins (7) ** =-.
how is he now Leyn? married na tingali to ug ang iyang wife nag cge problema nya.
.-= twerlyn´s last blog ..We Saved $20 =-.
Lainy,
Reading your article, it surely must have been a very trying relationship with him.
And it is said that love is a many splendoured thing.
Somewhere in all this, personal aspiration is always chasing after this nebulous splendoured thing.
So, hang in there! Life is a unceasing pendulum.
Thanks for sharing your Saturday Saved and have a lovely weekend.
“The ultimate key that will keep the relationship going is TRUST (I know what you’re thinking, naughty!)”
Why, but I am thinking of the same thing sis, not the other naughty thing! LOL Yeah trust and commitment play a huge part. And I won’t forget communication and openness– coz that’s how we made it! Eheh.
I’ve read this article of yours before sis. I’m glad you feature it again; feels good to be reminded of what love should be! I haven’t been in such horrible love relationship, but one thing I can say, it wasn’t real love for me because real love won’t hurt. Now my principle is completely the opposite of the song “Love Hurts” eh? HAH. Whateverrrrrr!!!!
.-= Recel´s last blog ..My Lemongrass- Saturday Saved #3 =-.
teka pala sis, waaaaah finally, na-add mo na ako? hahaha. congrats for overcoming that procrastination then? hahaha!
.-= Recel´s last blog ..My Lemongrass- Saturday Saved #3 =-.
Wow, thanks for sharing this one Lainy!
This is something that many people have the toughest time moving on from. The way you have handled this and moved on without holding any grudges or regrets while also delivering worthwhile lesson is just another example of the type of great person you are.
I finally did the Saturday Saved this weekend, but it was in a far different tone than this!
Anyway, great posting from you as always my very dear friend!
.-= David Funk´s last blog ..Tenth Picture in Folder Tag! =-.
Hi Lainy. Your post made me think.
If your ex didn´t love himself enough, how could he love you?
What you described in your post is what I call unhealthy feelings, kind of an obsession.
A good week ahead, Hugs, Mizé.
.-= Mizé´s last blog ..Classic Menu for Word 2007 =-.
If you need something so much that you are ready to die for, how do you get it after death?
.-= baby Noela´s last blog ..The Banking Sector in Nigeria – Role of Governance =-.
I cannot imagine a more destructive force than having someone you love threaten anything. I believe good strong relationships are rooted in deep friendship. If you love someone with all of your heart and they love you with all of their hearts then you have to be their best friend and they have to be yours. Respect grows out of such security and love deepens – so much so that you feel as though your souls are one. Thus to hurt the one you love is to hurt yourself.
I hope that you find such a love as this – for the only way to describe it is ‘it is as though heaven is on earth.’
.-= Polly´s last blog ..Nasturtiums have arrived =-.
Marzie Dearie!!!!
Well spoken, GP! I am in the best place right now… I can’t ask for anything more!
i have no idea, Lermz. Tried to contact him on his birthday last February, wala sya sa house nila. Mama nya lang nakaestorya nako. Busy daw sa work…
I am hanging on, Windy! I am tough, hehehehe!
It’s always a pleasure to take part in Saturday Saved!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sis! Be glad you haven’t been in the same horrible situation as I was a couple of years back. I tell you, you’ll never be happy and you’ll never have peace of mind…
Oh yeahhhhhhhh! I am so proud of my accomplishment, hahahaha! Still have to add your other blog though…
