Three years ago, I wrote an attempt to chronicle my life just a few days before my 25th birthday – A Countdown to My “25th.” This time, while I was struggling to come up with a decent article, I was debating on whether or not it is appropriate to write down one as I felt I am again wearing my heart in my sleeves. However, I could not anymore be bothered.
I am not gonna lie.
It seems crazy how things had drastically changed for me in such short a time. In a sudden twist of fate, my perspectives towards life had altered accordingly.
As can be recalled, I was then a dreamy girl who knew nothing of a love greater than the love that a family can give.
Most women have this earth-shattering desire for independence in all aspects of their lives. I can only speak for myself as I walked that path when I moved out of my Mom’s home and tried to live on my own. I felt too grown up. Growing up is happening much too quickly. I asked: “Where did the time go?” I was more intrigued to have the world around my fingers and I couldn’t wait! Read: Because the Baby is Now a Lady
In the process, I broke my mother’s heart with the move. She had a hard time accepting the fact that after being sheltered for almost my entire life, I am all suddenly too grown up wanting to live on my own; in my own terms. Read: BREAKING NEWS: My Mom Finally Visited Me!
I painted a glorious picture of how incredibly cool it would be like to live independently. Admittedly, there were good and bad sides to it. Read: All By Myself and I am Loving It!
Our family gatherings became more frequent; it was a weekly affair. And how we so looked forward to it! I guess the cliche, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true.
In many instances, my family would always bring me food at my apartment so I no longer had to cook.
On another side of the token, not one family member could instantly come to my rescue whenever I felt sick. It was hard to fend for myself.
I could not help but think of the future and I dearly remembered my Aunt (May God bless her soul) who had lost her battle to cancer in 2012.
She shared to me that it was not easy sans a family of her own- no husband, no children. She had countless lonely days and nights. She died a spinster. She encouraged me to get married and bear children of my own. In her death bed, the wise sage that is my Aunt told me:
“Please do not forget helping out your younger brothers even when you are already married.”
I could only weep; I had grieved for the loss of a woman who was more than a sister to my own Mom and who was always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in the clan.
I saw how my mother was shattered into pieces twice as much as I did.
As I write this, I am now a happy wife and an excited mother-to-be. Someone made me his world; he did not mind the scary responsibility of building a family with me and he willingly consented to my being mother to his future children. I still strive to be a better woman playing various roles and that includes being a “wife” and a future “mother.” I am still a work in progress everyday. Read: We Prayed, He Answered: We Are Pregnant!
As I am feeling the flutters and tingling sensation in my belly for our baby’s tiny movements, I can now vividly imagine being responsible for the future and well-being of a beautiful, innocent, all-love, trusting little child that is my own. I look forward for the future with so much hope and optimism that everything will be in place according to God’s plans.
I distinctly recalled that before getting hitched, I have lived a full and carefree life. I have traveled to different places, enjoyed the company of my lovely friends and beautiful family, and I got the chance to enhance my personal and professional skills.
How can I forget becoming an Aunt for the first time to my little darling Morning Dew?!
I grieved for the loss of my friends and relatives and rejoiced in their triumphs and achievements, too.
I have often cried in silence regarding anything minute and trivial- from lost money, phones, frustrations, disappointments, and “losing” a bestfriend.
There are still heaps of sob stories to tell that’s enough to make life horribly bleak but I shall spare you with the details.
God’s promises to His faithful children are real. Despite life’s storms and struggles, I felt victorious because I completely understand that God is working all things out for the good and His purpose for my life. He had always been aware of the painful trials that I had to go through. He walked side by side with me. When my heart is ready, I shall be writing more about it. He has a divine eternal reason for each and everything that I had to endure. He has a timing for it all and it is all part of the perfect plan.
With all humility and gratefulness, all the honor, glory, and praises is to God. He has blessed my life more than I ever deserved. There are moments when I feel I do not deserve one tiny bit of the wonderful things that I had been given- a new lease to life as I celebrate another birthday; a loving family in the Philippines and in Sydney; an awesome and wonderful husband; a baby on the way; wonderful friends, and so much more! I could only count each and every blessing that God is bestowing upon me and He is incessantly doing so.
Life is a gift and tomorrow is never promised. I vow to make the most out of this gift- 25 years old forever I will be! I am so ready to take on the new role that I am about to play in a few months time. There will be hills and hurdles along the way but God’s love and mercy will always pull me through.
Indeed, life is worth living!