Why I Chose to Take the High Road Even When I Want to be Nasty

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

I remember my immature self who would easily succumb to emotions. I tend to lash out easily; I would almost immediately express my anger in haste especially when I am intentionally provoked or when a person has been a complete a**hole or a bit*ch. The swift response would be to seek revenge and wish for retribution to the other party.

However, as time passed me by, I can say that I have learned to pick my battles wisely. Taking the high road by walking away is not at all times cowardice.

I could cite a few examples if only to clearly emphasize my point.

After giving birth to my son, I was under observation in the hospital. Because of some issues, which I would later relate in my birth story, I was given a private room and my husband was allowed to stay the night. However, there was one midwife in Blacktown Hospital who did not exercise prudence and tact; and they wonder why a lot of women hurdle postnatal depression.

In her line of profession, she was expected to deliver care, support, and comfort. Boy, was I wrong! I was raising my expectations too high.

Recalling what transpired that night, she sent my husband home. She harshly said that if the hospital would catch fire, he will add up to the number of people who will need rescuing. To make things clear, my husband was given clearance and approval by hospital administrators and doctors to be with me to assist in speeding up my recovery emotionally. He was meant to stay the night the entire duration of my confinement in the hospital.

To make the long story brief, I tearfully confronted her and emphasized that my husband was allowed to be with me for a solid reason and because of what she did, she was not helping me at all. She confessed that she failed to read the notes in my medical chart. She never apologised.

The next day, the hospital Manager came in to see me and I discussed with her what took place the previous night. She encouraged me to lodge a complaint. Apparently, the midwife was technically on the wrong. By impulse, I would like to raise hell and I wanted to gratify myself by proving that she did me wrong.

However, I never got the chance to write an extensive complaint on the issue. For one thing, I was thinking ahead that she might lose her job had I pursued the matter. What if she has children? What’s going to happen to them? I am now a mother and I could certainly walk in her shoes. For another, my resolve changed each time I look at my son and nurse him. I do not need all these kind of crap because I never want to agitate my son. I always tried my best to be calm and collected around him. Pursuing the matter would have brought out the worst in me. I chose not to for my son’s sake. It was not easy to walk away without a fight but I chose to totally drop the issue.

If only to add more value on this post, some may feel unhappy with other people’s happiness. My husband and I’s happiness to be precise. To be eaten up by so much insecurity and bitterness is pathetic. To spread ugly lies and gossips about me and screwing me over behind my back is sheer evil. There could be valid reasons that prompted a person to act in such silly, inappropriate, and bitchy ways but there is never an excuse for such despicable acts. It is beyond me how I found the heart to initiate the move to break the ice after all the misleading and false accusations that were hurled at me. My dignity was better served by turning the other cheek.

I could have shared a whole lot more in grotesque detail but I will spare you with the ugliness of it all.

Ultimately, I realized that taking the high road is worth my personal happiness and peace of mind:

1. Revenge is clearly a waste of time and energy. To be consumed by getting even to someone who wronged me is not worth it. I can’t be obsessed by getting back at a person because life is too beautiful to be wasted on crap.

2. I won’t humiliate myself by stooping down to the level of others. I want to preserve my sense of pride and dignity by not allowing my life to be wrapped up in complete misery, anger, hatred, and grudges.

3. I have far more better and important things to worry about. I can’t focus on the trivial issues. I have an awesome husband and an adorable son- that’s all that matters to me.

4. In the long run, choosing not to lose my cool made the other party look awful. Being the ugly villain in this saga doesn’t sound nice, right? 😉

5. Haters will always gonna hate. I can’t do anything about that. But I was given the opportunity to look down on them the minute I chose to take the high road. From my tower of maturity, I saw what kind of people they truly are.

I must admit that walking away with grace is not an easy path to take. I am not that innocent with all the wicked thoughts that’s going on in my head. I am still a work in progress everyday.

I have to give due credit to my husband who helped me pacify my emotions by always reminding me:

“If you retaliate, then you will be just like them.”

He has not failed in reminding me to always try to ignore the taunts and provocations and not to sink to their level.

Now as I look back, I am glad I opted to take the high road.

God Has Blessed My Life More Than I Ever Deserved

align boxBlog Owner and Post Author: Lainy

Three years ago, I wrote an attempt to chronicle my life just a few days before my 25th birthday – A Countdown to My “25th.” This time, while I was struggling to come up with a decent article, I was debating on whether or not it is appropriate to write down one as I felt I am again wearing my heart in my sleeves. However, I could not anymore be bothered.

I am not gonna lie.

It seems crazy how things had drastically changed for me in such short a time. In a sudden twist of fate, my perspectives towards life had altered accordingly.

As can be recalled, I was then a dreamy girl who knew nothing of a love greater than the love that a family can give.

Most women have this earth-shattering desire for independence in all aspects of their lives. I can only speak for myself as I walked that path when I moved out of my Mom’s home and tried to live on my own. I felt too grown up. Growing up is happening much too quickly. I asked: “Where did the time go?” I was more intrigued to have the world around my fingers and I couldn’t wait! Read: Because the Baby is Now a Lady

In the process, I broke my mother’s heart with the move. She had a hard time accepting the fact that after being sheltered for almost my entire life, I am all suddenly too grown up wanting to live on my own; in my own terms. Read: BREAKING NEWS: My Mom Finally Visited Me!

I painted a glorious picture of how incredibly cool it would be like to live independently. Admittedly, there were good and bad sides to it. Read: All By Myself and I am Loving It!

Our family gatherings became more frequent; it was a weekly affair. And how we so looked forward to it! I guess the cliche, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true.

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In many instances, my family would always bring me food at my apartment so I no longer had to cook.

On another side of the token, not one family member could instantly come to my rescue whenever I felt sick. It was hard to fend for myself.

I could not help but think of the future and I dearly remembered my Aunt (May God bless her soul) who had lost her battle to cancer in 2012.

My Tita after a surgery at my brother's wedding
My Tita after a surgery at my brother’s wedding

She shared to me that it was not easy sans a family of her own- no husband, no children. She had countless lonely days and nights. She died a spinster. She encouraged me to get married and bear children of my own. In her death bed, the wise sage that is my Aunt told me:

“Please do not forget helping out your younger brothers even when you are already married.”

I could only weep; I had grieved for the loss of a woman who was more than a sister to my own Mom and who was always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in the clan.

At the burial of my Tita
At the burial of my Tita

I saw how my mother was shattered into pieces twice as much as I did.

My Mom while weeping at the funeral
My Mom while weeping at the funeral

As I write this, I am now a happy wife and an excited mother-to-be. Someone made me his world; he did not mind the scary responsibility of building a family with me and he willingly consented to my being mother to his future children. I still strive to be a better woman playing various roles and that includes being a “wife” and a future “mother.” I am still a work in progress everyday. Read: We Prayed, He Answered: We Are Pregnant!

That "someone" is now my loving husband
That “someone” is now my loving husband

As I am feeling the flutters and tingling sensation in my belly for our baby’s tiny movements, I can now vividly imagine being responsible for the future and well-being of a beautiful, innocent, all-love, trusting little child that is my own. I look forward for the future with so much hope and optimism that everything will be in place according to God’s plans.

Bump ahead!
Bump ahead!

I distinctly recalled that before getting hitched, I have lived a full and carefree life. I have traveled to different places, enjoyed the company of my lovely friends and beautiful family, and I got the chance to enhance my personal and professional skills.

How can I forget becoming an Aunt for the first time to my little darling Morning Dew?!

My little Darling Morning Dew
My little Darling Morning Dew

I grieved for the loss of my friends and relatives and rejoiced in their triumphs and achievements, too.

I have often cried in silence regarding anything minute and trivial- from lost money, phones, frustrations, disappointments, and “losing” a bestfriend.

There are still heaps of sob stories to tell that’s enough to make life horribly bleak but I shall spare you with the details.

God’s promises to His faithful children are real. Despite life’s storms and struggles, I felt victorious because I completely understand that God is working all things out for the good and His purpose for my life. He had always been aware of the painful trials that I had to go through. He walked side by side with me. When my heart is ready, I shall be writing more about it. He has a divine eternal reason for each and everything that I had to endure. He has a timing for it all and it is all part of the perfect plan.

With all humility and gratefulness, all the honor, glory, and praises is to God. He has blessed my life more than I ever deserved. There are moments when I feel I do not deserve one tiny bit of the wonderful things that I had been given- a new lease to life as I celebrate another birthday; a loving family in the Philippines and in Sydney; an awesome and wonderful husband; a baby on the way; wonderful friends, and so much more! I could only count each and every blessing that God is bestowing upon me and He is incessantly doing so.

Life is a gift and tomorrow is never promised. I vow to make the most out of this gift- 25 years old forever I will be! I am so ready to take on the new role that I am about to play in a few months time. There will be hills and hurdles along the way but God’s love and mercy will always pull me through.

Indeed, life is worth living!